Sunday, April 26, 2009 @ 11:06 PM
home sweet home
so people, i currently reside at my old address.
it's good to be home
even though my room is now spanking new and completely different from the past,
i slept the first night feeling right at home.
familiarity isn't just based on appearance after all
exams are such a drag.
Thursday, April 23, 2009 @ 9:30 PM
packing is hell
God help me. i knew some day i was going to regret my shopaholic days.
and that day has come.
and it's called 'pack your closet so we can move young lady'
(proudly announced by daddy dearest.)
after a whole afternoon of folding and categorizing the piles of clothes
that didn't seem so much when they were initially packed into the closet,
my back is aching and i am thirsty
but i am proud of myself
for being so prepared to move for the first time
(dances around the room)
i live for small victories in life.
it's amazing how much JUNK i can accumulate in these mere months.
very baffling.
@ 6:58 PM
the night the gusty winds blew
"The strong winds that affected Singapore last night between 11 pm (22 Apr 09) and 12:30 am (23 Apr 09) were caused by an intense fast-moving 'Sumatra' squall.
"Mean wind speeds ranging from 33 to 54 km per hour were recorded across the island. The highest recorded wind gust was 83 km per hour in the western areas.
"A wind gust is a sudden brief increase in the speed of the wind.
COOL!i was studying last night when the wind gust started blowing. what an entertaining night to study. the wind was so strong that one of the tree outside my window broke into half

awesome, my very first natural disaster.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009 @ 10:50 PM
i just had to blog
i just smacked an oil absorbing facial sheet on my dad's forehead
and it ain't a pretty sight.
weilun, i believe you have met your match.
hahaha
adam lambert rocks american idol by the way.
best contestant ever.
daniel says (11:25 PM):
i wish i cld kill kids.
daniel says (11:25 PM):
i'll kill some so that eveyrone will behave.
beware kids of a particular school in jurong west, you have a murderous teacher haha
@ 5:16 PM
new house yo!
I AM MOVING BACK HOME THIS SATURDAY.
:)
cheers to my new room that is finally designed according to my preference
(well most of it.)
EXCITEDanyway please don't have high hopes for the renovation of the house
because my mum is basically doing her best to ruin everything with her
questionable taste and auntie mentality of 'i want this! i want that!"
she doesn't seem to understand that
too much of a good thing can be a bad thingbut it's okay because i am going to self comfort myself by saying at least my room and the attic will be nice.
so everyone feel free to self-invite yourself over to my house.
(actually regardless of my permission, you guys are planning to come anyway haha)
Monday, April 20, 2009 @ 4:54 PM
no, no and no
if there's one thing that i absolutely cannot stand,
it would be uncertainty.
i like my schedule well planned out.
and i would appreciate thoughtfulness and attention to details.
so if you are going to disguise your lack of effort as spontaneity
i am just going to say,
'please don't waste my time.'
Sunday, April 19, 2009 @ 4:46 PM
what is forever?
she wanted to break up with him, not because she didn't love him, but she couldn't be with him if they weren't together. his response? he asked her to marry him.
he gave her one week while he was away(
again) to decide.
'FOREVER'he said it without hesitation. 'Forever' is how he signed most of his correspondences with her, from his short entry in her senior yearbook to the dedication of the notebook that she dedicates to him.
but it's the as-of-yet unwritten
FOREVER that immediately sprung to mind.
during the years of separation, all those silent years, he will send a postcard to convey a message.
a message that he built
one word and
one postcard at a time.
the message was.
I
WISH
OUR
LOVE
WAS
RIGHT
NOW
I WISH OUR LOVE WAS RIGHT.
I WISH OUR LOVE WAS RIGHT NOW.
see the difference one word makes?
it never cease to amaze me how easy it is to misunderstand someone.
how easy it is for things to go wrong, because of what was unsaid,
or rather in this case, what was
yet to be said.
the eighth card, with the word
AND was his. the only postcard that was not up with the rest because it was the only postcard written to him, from her.
'
AND' represented her faith that there would be more to come for him and her, even if she didn't know what it was.
she tried to make good on her postcard promise, to let their relationship evolve in the open-ended spirit of
AND.
is it any surprise that he would want the final word?
FOREVER.
connection
separation
connection
separation
connection
"there has been too many spaces in our togetherness," she said, almost in a whisper.
"Our relationship is defined by separation. by silences."
"it seems to me," her best friend, Hope said, "that you and him need more togetherness in your spaces."
for a few seconds, the only sound was of the tires heartbeating over the dips in the road.
"what the hell does that mean?" she asked.
"i have no idea," Hope replied, " i was hoping you wouldn't ask me."
and so she waited for
FOREVER to come.
she was reading this study for work about how the happiest couples are those who sacrifice their own wished so their partners can achieve their dreams.
it makes perfect sense.and yet she knew she's too young, that they are both too young, for her to live her life only as it relates to him. if he had asked her to marry her the night he first told her about his acceptance, she would have embraced a shift as part of a larger plan that involved her. she probably would have reacted differently.
she might even have said
yes.
alas he didn't ask her then. he made plans for his future without her in mind. and that's okay. but how can he now ask her to arrange her life around him?
so her answer was
no.
he wrote back to her after getting her answer. he shared a story of his own.
when he was thirteen, he decided he needed a tattoo.
not a want but a need.
so he went to a Chinese tattoo artist. he wanted one in Chinese because, well he thought it was cool.
when asked what he wanted on his arm, he said, "FOR.EVER.FOR.EVER"
"you want repeat around arm?" that tattoo artist asked.
"sure," he said. "Whatever"
"whatever?"
"yea. What.Ever"
years later, he met a friend who happened to be Chinese.
"what's that on your arm?" the friend asked.
"
FOREVER" he said.
"no it's not, it's
WHATEVER" the friend laughed.
he got what he deserved. his proposal to her could not have been more sincere. but it seems hat his life is imitating badly executed skin art, turning his intentions for FOREVER into something else altogether. and so he'll let her go, and let it be.
this time, he didn't sign off with
FOREVER.
instead in its place was the unintended,
WHATEVER.
how does one possibly follow up
FOREVER?
Friday, April 17, 2009 @ 5:18 PM
last week
so, last week in the temporary apartment i called 'home' for the past few months.
what a swirl of events that resulted since the move-in
i woke up this morning in the same room, that i cried in the first night i was there
and i feel strangely nostalgic
it's funny how i ended up back in the same place as i was before i moved in.
how very symbolic for me to leave this place behind.
because i am not just leaving the apartment.
i am leaving every single trace of him back there.
where it should be.
i can't wait to move. :)
Wednesday, April 15, 2009 @ 7:25 PM
whatever
i am waiting for FOREVER to come
whatever,
chiewyee
Wednesday, April 08, 2009 @ 11:13 PM
like father, like daughter
my dad is extremely childish.
he was chasing me around the house yesterday night.
it was the usual case of:
i hit my dad
then he hit me back
and i hit him
and he hit me back
so i hit him
and before he could hit me back
i ran. :D
since the temporary house that we are living is so small.
i found myself running straight into the master bedroom
there was no time to switch on the lights obviously
so i ran at full speed in the dark
totally afraid that he was going to catch up
too engrossed with running,
i completely forgot that there was an audio system somewhere
and so
i ran right smack into itthe fan on top of the audio systems came crashing down
broken into 3 pieces
if you don't believe me, i can show you my battle wound which is 2 inches long.
it's on my left elbow.
ps: my dad ran away before my mum came out of the toilet to investigate the crash
haha!
Tuesday, April 07, 2009 @ 10:09 PM
Me, Yes, Me
For better or for worse, you have helped me become the person i was always meant to be: Me, Yes, Me.
Monday, April 06, 2009 @ 9:19 PM
the 5 stages of grief
1. denial.
thinking that he or she will change their mind
2.anger/ resentment
angry with the other person for causing the situation and for causing you pain.
3.bargaining
trying to negotiate to change the situation
4. depression
you realise that the situation isn't going to change. acknowledgment of the situation often brings depression. this could be
a quiet, withdrawn time as you absorb the situation.5. acceptance
though you have not forgotten what happened, you are able to move forward.
i am getting there, i am getting there :)
@ 12:02 AM
hold your own, know your name, go your own way
i can't grieve.
because no one lets me do so.
if someone died, i think people will let me grieve for a year or so.
but because nobody died,
(there is a mere shift in the tag given to the once most important person)
nobody allows you to talk about it beyond two days.
even when i have already accepted the fact
even when i can fully operate again
even when i can laugh and be silly
i still need to grieve
but
no one lets me
no one wants to listen to me talk about it
they are so afraid that talking about it would make it worse
but i think not talking about it makes it worse
i detest the look on people's faces when i mention his name
it's as if i mentioned that i am very fond of slapping myself
i am not destroying myself
i just want to talk about him
i can't live life pretending that he didn't happen
or he didn't affect me
because he has and he will forever affect me
just in decreasing magnitude
i know in future
it will just be a memory
one that i will just shrug it off as the kind of unfortunate event
that i grow stronger and learn from
but at the same time
i don't understand why some people see this desire to talk about it as a weakness
that is absolutely ridiculous
i am human
i have emotions
i am strong but i still bleed
that's not my fault
i am not used to life right now actually
it's as if everyone is moving forward
and they are passing me by
i appear to be moving
but they are unaware that i am actually moving backward.
i think i am scaring everyone am i not?
i don't mean to
i just want to grieve
let me be
Wednesday, April 01, 2009 @ 5:08 PM
i did a QILING
jinglin: i have 2 hours to waste before project meeting
chiewyee: why don't you join us for tutorial?
PROF CHEONG VERY SLACK ONE
then i thought to myself, i don't think anyone will hear that right?
so i turned and guess who i saw.
PROF CHEONG in the flesh. he was trying very hard to pretend he didn't hear that,
but trust me he was failing rather badly.
the worst thing was i had to present my project to him during the tutorial after that.
i am praying that he won't recognise me as the one who called him the very slack one
right outside Mcdonalds.
very slack one very slack one very slack one?? why chiewyee why did you say that??
i love him though cause he gave me an A for my previous assignment. good man. :)