some things just draw your attention(it cannot be helped). you know you shouldn't be reading them, but you just cannot help it. and at the end of it all, you curse yourself for your obvious lack of restraint. i badly need some luck and a little ice-cream to cheer me up!


"you mean you called me just to ask how i am? "


"yea"

actually i don't think i am all that unlucky(much as i would like to think so,i mean you gotta blame something) in life, at least i have the greatest friends that i can ever ask for:)
and that's enough to put a smile on my face every single day.
and so i say to that nagging feeling in my heart that threatens to make me all emotional and depressed, STOP IT!
i am getting better, i am feeling better. school's even turning out to be enjoyable.
and so i pray that things would get even better

i love jas and qiling! swimming on fri!


hahaha!



i have been officially awake for like more than 24 hours. i think i am nuts.


i am very very tired right now. this is after like staying up the whole night yesterday playing a game which was torturous but fun in a way. i think it was called 21. and the forfeit was to drink half a glass of water every time you make a mistake. and the catch is that you cannot go to the toilet at all during the game. new rules were also constantly added throughout. so i found myself drinking tons of water because let's face it i am either slow/stupid or maybe i just can't keep my mouth shut during the game! haha
oh i forgot to mention why and where i was staying up. well, khant khant had a farewell bbq party yesterday. a group of the myanmar trip people stayed over at her house so we could send her off the next morning(her flight was super early in the morning.) made some new friends of khant khant and i think i really had a very very fun time playing the whole night. i wasn't even tempted to sleep at all. and can i say that khant khant's brother(the happening one who is never at home) is very evil?? haha he made us play the game which caused me to drink so much water and refused to allow me to got to the toilet. oh yea speaking of the toilet, the guys kept scaring me. they kept putting ideas into my head about how when you comb your hair in front of the mirror, your future husband would appear in the reflection. at first i was really curious of how it is even scary(i mean isn't it good that you know who you will marry next time?), then i think jason said something about some old wrinkled guy popping out of the mirror or something. so naturally being seriously creeped out i refused to go to the toilet. whenever i brushed up the courage to go, jason would start scaring me about my "good friend" waiting in the toilet for me! anyway i finally went, and the stupid ziyi kept making ghost noises and scratching the toilet door. how childish can they be! anyway i think meisi drank the least, that's because she didn't talk at all.
i think khant khant's really brave! and i think we'll all miss her alot! but hopefully june comes faster so we'll be able to see her again:)

this entry is incoherent and all jumbled up. i can't think now cause of the lack of sleep?
:) but i am happy and that's all that matters(obviously i am a little sad that khant khant is gone but i think yesterday was the first time where i really spent alot of time with her so i am glad)


my car is fabulous!
The first time driving it was so surreal. My dad was shouting directions, my mum was freaking out at the back, and i was so strangely confused! so i ended up shouting: "where where WHERE IS THE PETROL STATION??"
so you can imagine three people all shouting at the same time. it's a miracle i didn't get into an accident.

i am feeling grand:D
my little baby car. awwww!
( and NO QILING I WONT NAME IT BIT BIT)


I don't understand how i can become such an emotional wreck in just a matter of days. especially at this point of my life, when i thought that i have finally gained the sense of being independent (and loving it). It's not as if the situation in school is bad, it's just hmm not good.( i suspect this has to do with the fact that i came in with high expectations) and most of you probably have listened to me talk about it over and over. i am not expecting people to understand or tell me that it would get better(ok maybe i am lying sometimes it helps that people understand and convince me that things would turn out fine haha), i just needed to talk to people/let them know how i feel. maybe only through that will i know that i actually exist and that i actually matter. only then would i feel like i am not staring at the world from the outside, but i am actually involved. now that matters.

i want to be able to proudly say
"i am feeling grand!" when people ask me how i am!

but, i seek solace in the fact that i have great friends:)

Get this widget Share Track details

Throw it away
Forget yesterday
Well make the great escape
We wont hear a word they say
They dont know us anyway
Watch it burn
Let it die
Cause we are finally free tonight
Tonight will change our lives
Its so good to be by your side
And well cry
But we wont give up the fight
Well scream loud at the top of our lungs
Theyll think its just cause were young
We'll feel so alive


how am i supposed to know how to act/behave? who is to say that the way i am acting now is not me? now this is why i hate a new environment. adjusting means i have to find out who i really am. THAT i have yet to find out. i feel as if i am constantly changing, but somehow i'm still me, but i have changed(in one way or another). does that make sense? that's why i say old friends are still the best because they have already accepted you as who you are(whoever you are) and there's no pressure to please them. you don't have to try to think of something to say when you just feel like keeping quiet. you don't have to do things you don't like to do. and you know you can say what's on your mind, without worrying about what the person would think of you. Impression! that's it. why must we always work so hard at giving people a good impression of us? why do i find myself eager to let people have a good first impression of me, then feel defeated when i feel that they don't(have a good impression of me that is)? why can't people just slowly discover what's good/bad about me without me having to try? and why am i trying so hard when no one cares?

just be myself? if only it was that easy.

i wonder what i was thinking when i decided to do something different. who am i kidding? i am not ready to be different. give me the old constant anytime.

Saturday, August 04, 2007 @ 1:16 PM

this is how it should be

went to my first two castings(both hair shows) yesterday. strangely enough, it felt more like an obligation that i just have to get it over with than a nerve-wrecking experience. maybe it's cause cindy was with me? or maybe i was already considering not to do modelling in the first place?
all i had to do was fill up forms, let them touch my hair and ask questions about my hair, take some photos and voila i was done.

well that was fun

dinner was even more fun. thinking back, it was a real weird arrangement to have joined cindy, shu heng and their two band seniors for dinner. but it was a good dinner, haven't been laughing that hard for a very long time:)

some things just draw your attention(it cannot be helped). you know you shouldn't be reading them, but you just cannot help it. and at the end of it all, you curse yourself for your obvious lack of restraint. i badly need some luck and a little ice-cream to cheer me up!


"you mean you called me just to ask how i am? "


"yea"

actually i don't think i am all that unlucky(much as i would like to think so,i mean you gotta blame something) in life, at least i have the greatest friends that i can ever ask for:)
and that's enough to put a smile on my face every single day.
and so i say to that nagging feeling in my heart that threatens to make me all emotional and depressed, STOP IT!
i am getting better, i am feeling better. school's even turning out to be enjoyable.
and so i pray that things would get even better

i love jas and qiling! swimming on fri!


hahaha!



i have been officially awake for like more than 24 hours. i think i am nuts.


i am very very tired right now. this is after like staying up the whole night yesterday playing a game which was torturous but fun in a way. i think it was called 21. and the forfeit was to drink half a glass of water every time you make a mistake. and the catch is that you cannot go to the toilet at all during the game. new rules were also constantly added throughout. so i found myself drinking tons of water because let's face it i am either slow/stupid or maybe i just can't keep my mouth shut during the game! haha
oh i forgot to mention why and where i was staying up. well, khant khant had a farewell bbq party yesterday. a group of the myanmar trip people stayed over at her house so we could send her off the next morning(her flight was super early in the morning.) made some new friends of khant khant and i think i really had a very very fun time playing the whole night. i wasn't even tempted to sleep at all. and can i say that khant khant's brother(the happening one who is never at home) is very evil?? haha he made us play the game which caused me to drink so much water and refused to allow me to got to the toilet. oh yea speaking of the toilet, the guys kept scaring me. they kept putting ideas into my head about how when you comb your hair in front of the mirror, your future husband would appear in the reflection. at first i was really curious of how it is even scary(i mean isn't it good that you know who you will marry next time?), then i think jason said something about some old wrinkled guy popping out of the mirror or something. so naturally being seriously creeped out i refused to go to the toilet. whenever i brushed up the courage to go, jason would start scaring me about my "good friend" waiting in the toilet for me! anyway i finally went, and the stupid ziyi kept making ghost noises and scratching the toilet door. how childish can they be! anyway i think meisi drank the least, that's because she didn't talk at all.
i think khant khant's really brave! and i think we'll all miss her alot! but hopefully june comes faster so we'll be able to see her again:)

this entry is incoherent and all jumbled up. i can't think now cause of the lack of sleep?
:) but i am happy and that's all that matters(obviously i am a little sad that khant khant is gone but i think yesterday was the first time where i really spent alot of time with her so i am glad)


my car is fabulous!
The first time driving it was so surreal. My dad was shouting directions, my mum was freaking out at the back, and i was so strangely confused! so i ended up shouting: "where where WHERE IS THE PETROL STATION??"
so you can imagine three people all shouting at the same time. it's a miracle i didn't get into an accident.

i am feeling grand:D
my little baby car. awwww!
( and NO QILING I WONT NAME IT BIT BIT)


I don't understand how i can become such an emotional wreck in just a matter of days. especially at this point of my life, when i thought that i have finally gained the sense of being independent (and loving it). It's not as if the situation in school is bad, it's just hmm not good.( i suspect this has to do with the fact that i came in with high expectations) and most of you probably have listened to me talk about it over and over. i am not expecting people to understand or tell me that it would get better(ok maybe i am lying sometimes it helps that people understand and convince me that things would turn out fine haha), i just needed to talk to people/let them know how i feel. maybe only through that will i know that i actually exist and that i actually matter. only then would i feel like i am not staring at the world from the outside, but i am actually involved. now that matters.

i want to be able to proudly say
"i am feeling grand!" when people ask me how i am!

but, i seek solace in the fact that i have great friends:)

Get this widget Share Track details

Throw it away
Forget yesterday
Well make the great escape
We wont hear a word they say
They dont know us anyway
Watch it burn
Let it die
Cause we are finally free tonight
Tonight will change our lives
Its so good to be by your side
And well cry
But we wont give up the fight
Well scream loud at the top of our lungs
Theyll think its just cause were young
We'll feel so alive


how am i supposed to know how to act/behave? who is to say that the way i am acting now is not me? now this is why i hate a new environment. adjusting means i have to find out who i really am. THAT i have yet to find out. i feel as if i am constantly changing, but somehow i'm still me, but i have changed(in one way or another). does that make sense? that's why i say old friends are still the best because they have already accepted you as who you are(whoever you are) and there's no pressure to please them. you don't have to try to think of something to say when you just feel like keeping quiet. you don't have to do things you don't like to do. and you know you can say what's on your mind, without worrying about what the person would think of you. Impression! that's it. why must we always work so hard at giving people a good impression of us? why do i find myself eager to let people have a good first impression of me, then feel defeated when i feel that they don't(have a good impression of me that is)? why can't people just slowly discover what's good/bad about me without me having to try? and why am i trying so hard when no one cares?

just be myself? if only it was that easy.

i wonder what i was thinking when i decided to do something different. who am i kidding? i am not ready to be different. give me the old constant anytime.

Saturday, August 04, 2007 @ 1:16 PM

this is how it should be

went to my first two castings(both hair shows) yesterday. strangely enough, it felt more like an obligation that i just have to get it over with than a nerve-wrecking experience. maybe it's cause cindy was with me? or maybe i was already considering not to do modelling in the first place?
all i had to do was fill up forms, let them touch my hair and ask questions about my hair, take some photos and voila i was done.

well that was fun

dinner was even more fun. thinking back, it was a real weird arrangement to have joined cindy, shu heng and their two band seniors for dinner. but it was a good dinner, haven't been laughing that hard for a very long time:)

chiewyee!
basically what we have here is a dreamer. someone out of touch with reality. when she jumped, she probably thought she'd fly.
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