all i did at my dad's office today was
1. sign the documents (i feel like the boss already ;) )
2. fax invoices, quotations
3. collect money and cheques
4. annoy my dad:)

there's really not much to do
i was THIS close to dying of boredom
thank goodness i brought along a book
and messaging qiling and guan were quite entertaining

anyway qiling told me this brillant idea!
we are going to have a joint BBQ birthday party:))
qiling promises it would be a grand affair.
right no promises yet cause we have yet to sit down and discuss

yanru's birthday is coming!
i think its really funny that she's turning 18 soon
then few days after her birthday i am going to turn 19!
i don't like the whole idea of being 19
i think i like 18 better.

christmas is coming
don't you just love christmas? :)
HO HO HO


i wont say i am sorry because i don't believe its my fault
its not anyone's fault
its just a case of miscommunication
don't you think?

ok so he's not a virgin
er why are you telling me that?
what's your point in saying that?
correction what's your point in repeating that?




my first day at work(at oosh)(this is really a step by step account of what happened for my benefit since i reckon i would forget all about it soon)

yanru and i went to shop for my black pants and shoes before work
less than one hour before we were supposed to report for work
we could not find the bus stop
that must have been a sign
it took like 40 minutes and many panic attacks before we boarded the 174 bus

we met hanyong at the bus stop and walked in together
we were 5 minutes late
but no one noticed the time actually
the laifan lady brought us down to the bar area to introduced us to the people working there
(that lady is so blur she wins me hands down)
i think i got a shock
cause they were all so old(i mean old as in young old but not old old)
AND funky
yanru and i already have this bad bad feeling
and we wanted to go home really badly

we waited at some corner while the rest of them were being briefed
after the briefing the supervisors and the director himself came over
they asked if we have experience and stuff
we said no
and then they brought us to collect our uniform
luckily its not some ugly polo tee
but i thought the the top was quite tight
especially the sleeve part (right yanru?)

dinner was provided
there were some meat, tofu and broccoli
hanyong said tofu is the worst food of all...taste like rubber..stinks
i thought tofu was tasteless?
SOU MUN I THOUGHT U SAID THE FOOD WAS NICE!
yanru and i didn't finish the food at all
i think one of the reason why we didn't finish the food was because everyone around us were smoking.
i could not even breathe much less eat
i saw this ring of smoke floating up and i was quite amazed (for awhile after that i was busy coughing)

training started after dinner
bernard(our supervisor) started teaching us about the menu, table arrangement..................
the director(mr goh) came over at one point
i think he's very bossy, arrogant, talks very slowly, thinks he the boss(oh wait he is the boss) and naggy
he talked for one hour without stopping
anyway there are like 3 concepts(i think) at oosh
the bar, the garden and the roof (or rooftop?)
yanru and i were assigned to the bar and hanyong (mr goh called him ah yong haha) was assigned to the roof(or rooftop whatever)

there are 4 other people assigned to the bar
1. bernard(supervisor)
2. siva
3. gobi
4. asri

i think gobi's name is really cool
the first thing i thought when he told me his name was Gobi desert

something really funny happened when mr goh was still briefing everyone
since we were already grouped into our work stations
and mr goh was just nagging away(i swear no one was listening to him)
we did introductions quietly
bernard introduced siva and gobi.
then when he turned to asri
he said "and this is ah meng"
I TELL YOU. i could not control myself
i just burst out laughing
they were all like shhhh
luckily mr goh was too busy nagging that he didn't notice it
i was still trying very hard not to laugh
i think asri really looks like ah meng!

it was really very slack at first
gobi was transferred to the garden to help out
asri and siva were nowwhere to be found
i just kept seeing bernard bernard and more bernard

when the sky turned dark
asri and siva finally turned up
since there was no one
asri started to talk to me
he had a problem with remembering my name
so guess what i did
i did the chewy chewy action
which yanru saw and thought it was quite funny
i think that really worked
he remembered my name after that
he couldn't remember yanru's name though
asri's really really nice
he keep coming over to teach me what to do
he would let me serve
and he taught me the different drinks and what they were made up of (could not understand a word he was saying though)

asri even told yanru and i that he broke up with his girlfriend because of work
i think that's quite sad

cindy came to visit us!
it was a really really pleasant surprise
i think cindy rocks:)

anyway a terrible thing happened
yanru was transferred to the garden!
leaving me alone!!
and more people started to gather at the bar
so i was confused, busy and very sad
asri came over and told me that the babies on the tv were very cute
haha
that was very random
but that cheered me up:)
i think asri's the nicest guy i have ever met:)

i kept seeing hanyong and yanru at the bar even though they were assigned somewhere else
i think they keep taking breaks!

another terrible thing happened
i was transferred to the kitchen
to be a runner
which means i was supposed to take this huge tray which is as long as me
with heavy plates on top
luckily they found out i didn't know the table numbers in the garden
so they send me back to the bar
i suspect they saw my traumatised face and decided to go easy on me

but then they send me off again this time to the garden itself
i was supposed to clear the plates
i think that was the toughest
cause you are supposed to balance the tray
bend down get the wine glasses, plates and clean the table
while the customers look on
i thought to myself the whole time "please don't let me drop anything"
but i did drop something along the way
i think i have never been so embarrassed in my life
haha

work ended around 1am
everyone just started gathering at the back
i finally saw the guy who looks like hanyong
he's justin
he has this very funny habit of cutting into our conversations
and the thing he says has completely no link to whatever we were talking

there's this other girl who is very nice and she was from NJC too.
i didn't ask for her name though
shall ask sou mun

in the end, we just sat there and talked while waiting for the buses to send us home

i was the last one in the bus (west) to be dropped off
i told the uncle to let me get down at the petrol station instead of winding all the way in
because i felt like taking a walk
have u ever taken a walk around your house at 3am?
the streets are surprisingly quiet and calm
and when i looked up i saw many many stars!
and the stars were so bright i felt like lying there and then on the road to just watch them shine

when i reached home
i was really tired
but i decided i was more hungry than i was tired
so i tried cooked some maggi mee
and even switched on the tv
i think i fell asleep at some point while watching animal planet
my maggi mee was mostly left untouched
i only woke up at 6am
feeling disgusted with myself since i didn't even washed up
so in the end after bathing and all
everyone started waking up while i plopped myself to sleep

what a day.
if this entry sounds weird
its because i am very exhausted now
i can't think straight
and i realise this is a very long entry.
ok i am done
:)


4J dinner yesterday was kind of brief
and we were missing a lot of people
i never want to go newton food centre to eat again
the hawkers just kept trying to make us buy their food
ordering food was like engaging in a battle

i am going for work later
i am very nervous
and excited!

yanru and i are very concerned about the uniform provided
we hope it's not some ugly polo tee

i think i am going to faint:)


i think my family hates me
everything i do is wrong wrong wrong
mum is screaming at me like i am the worst thing that happened to her
but seriously i didn't do anything!!!

i feel misunderstood
i think mum dad and brother have very screwed up and strong personalities
since i am the youngest and the only one who doesn't have this hate for everything in the world
they generally assume they can take it out on me
come on
deal with it and move on
its not my fault
and don't you ever think that it didn't affect me
it affected me
BUT i don't let it bother me
i just choose not to live miserably
and AND the whole family's growing suspicion towards anything that moves is getting annoying

i don't understand
i don't understand
I DON"T UNDERSTAND

i think its best i hide in my room and not say anything
that way there would be minimal chances of them trying to torment me

i am not upset
i am just very tired
and angsty
i have a right to be angsty


TAN CHIEW YEE got a job!
and it pays better than the science centre one!
and the person told me there is a $125 allowance per month
for GROOMING
and we are talking about a waitressing job
not some air stewardess job

guess who are my co-workers!
sou(already working there)
yanru(who is starting to think like me)
hanyong!

this is so exciting

mum is very suspicious of the allowance and the fact that i have to work till 3am
brother is still angry with me for lending his DVDs to liting and forgetting all about it till months later
brother just told me we are getting a hamster soon
and another chinchilla
my house is fast becoming a zoo
dad is irritating me on how nowadays children always depend on their parents for money and how it wasn't that way when he was a child ......
how he had to work and save to go on a holiday in EUROPE
get that-EUROPE!
i had to try very hard to not give him the i-think-you-are-ridiculous look
you need skills to survive in a family like mine
sometimes i think i understand them more than they understand themselves

i think its funny how two people can speak in their own form of broken english
and actually understand each other
and when i include myself in their conversation
i automatically switch to some unknown form of broken english as well

yanru and i have gone mad on a search for bimbo books
ok maybe i am the only one
she's only concerned about princess dairies and how michael is so cute and perfect
it has got to a point where you start to think if
1.the michael she's talking about is actually a real person
2. that princess dairies is a true story
3.and how one day michael would dump mia and run into the arms of yanru
which if you ask me is really unhealthy cause michael is just some fictional character
there's no such thing as michael in real life!

here's something funny i read from a book
husband: i just need some space
wife(completely misses the point): why do you need space? you are not an astronaut !
hahaha

i forgot to blog about the funny incident when i went out with yanru and mavis
i was flipping through some SONY booklet promoting their cameras
chiewyee: hey mav your camera how many megapixels?
mav(absentmindedly): 1000
yanru and chiewyee: what? 1000??
at first we laughed cause we thought mavis was just being funny
but after awhile, from her confused look
it was obvious that she didn't know why we were laughing
chiewyee: mav if your camera is 1000 megapixels you would be able to see the person's DNA already.
i reckon mavis is going to kill me cause i promised her i would not blog about it

did i mention i have a job?
i am going to be rich from all the tips (i think)
now i just have to go get those GAP pants that i have been eyeing since hmm yesterday?:)

please don't ask me
cause i am not telling.


i love my room

i love the way when i close the door
i feel safe and comfortable
i love lying on my bed and looking up at the high ceiling
i love the light spilling in from the top window
making the whole room glow without even switching on any lights
i love the fact that it is my own space
somewhere where i can go to when i need to be left alone to just think
i love the way how my room remains the same even after so many years
when i am in my room i get the illusion that everything else remains the same as well
i love it because that's the only place where i can really show my emotions and no one would ask me what's wrong
because i don't feel like talking about it
i don't like people fussing over me
for the first time in my life
i would like to solve this on my own

and for the first time in my life
i spent a record time shutting myself in my room with nothing but the radio on
my handphone keeps beeping at one corner
but i just didn't feel like replying
all i did was just listen to the music and rest

if i sounded sad that's because i was
but if you ask me if i am still sad
i would say i am not

but after thinking so much and spending so much time with myself
all the sadness just drifted away

yesterday's star a w a rds was hilarious
:)

to you
you should'nt have known
i think i felt so sad initially because i thought that was it
i thought i would never talk to you again
and that upsets me because like i said i got used to having you in my life



i should have seen this coming
actually i did
but part of me just wanted to believe that it's not true
looking back
i realise there were many signs

at that moment
i was just so shocked
besides the shock
i was otherwise quite calm
surprisingly calm
but the tears started falling somehow

i think i am still refusing to accept it

but it will never work out
so why am i doing this to myself
why do i want to continue when i know i am going to get hurt

i think a part of me just died
and i feel terrible

i need to be stronger than this



You know how sometimes you know a person because he/she is your friend's friend?
and then one fine day you might just gather all the first degree and second degree friends for a mini gathering.
that's what happened on tues
Weilun, zhimin, xinyu and I decided to go for prom shopping together

let me explain to you our links
weilun and xinyu-primary school friends
(ok this is random but weilun also happen to be amy's boyfriend's (Vincent) primary school classmate!)
zhimin and xinyu- student councilors back in secondary school
Weilun and chiewyee- sec 3 sec 4 classmates
xinyu and chiewyee- sec 1 sec 2 classmates
zhimin and chiewyee- er..oh I went NDP with him once!

so we met up to help xinyu find her prom dress
have you ever shopped with xinyu before?
haha I shall not elaborate further in case she kills me
I think we were all almost on the brink of breaking down when we were still helping her find a dress at 9 pm!
after alot of assurances(Weilun and I let zhimin do most of the talking)
she FINALLY bought her dress
weilun zhimin and i were celebrating at one corner when xinyu went to pay:)

then we walked to ps to meet brandon
brandon dyed his hair but I didn't see any difference at all

thurs
that Teo Qiling has not put any thought into her prom dress at all
i wonder why i am more worried for her than she is worried for herself!!
guanyou qiling and i went to have lunch at this Hong Kong restaurant
the dim sum was nice but i hated the curry chicken noodle
they used maggi mee!
qiling and her mango ice.

oh yea qiling is beginnning to have this obsession with polka dots

chiewyee: qiling you like polka dots har?
qiling: NO i like BIG dots!
chiewyee:rigghhhhttt

WE SAW JONATHAN LEONG!!!
right after guan left us to meet another girl.
see guan i told you. stick with us and good things will happen haha

jaslyn is a lucky girl.
she msged me at the right moment

i very lazy to tell the whole story so i just copied from jas's blog:)

ok this was what happened, i was on my way to orchard, then i smsed chewy for fun and she called me and she was like "OMGOMGOMG JONATHAN LEONG IS AT CINELEISURE!!!!!!!!!!!!! COME NOW!!!!!" and i rannnn there to meet her and qiling (although i was supposed to meet denise at heeren) and OMG JONATHAN LEONG WAS IN THIS SHOP AND OMG WE WERE LIKE OMG!!!THEnnnn we wanted to take photos with him, but OMG none of us dared to ask. so we kept walking forward (v close to him!) then we will change our mind and walk away again. a few time ok!! he saw us then HE OSO V PAISEH CAN! so we hid behind the pillar and tried to strategise.
qiling: maybe he doesnt want to take photos with us loh
jas: who says!! you never see him keep thanking his fans meh? LOL
chew: very embarrassing leh! he already saw us! what are we doing here!
qiling: (faces a computer screen) maybe i can ask him to teach me how to use this!
jas: fat hope lah! OMGOMG HE IS LEAVING ALREADY QUICK GOOOO!!!
qiling: i ask i ask

10 OMG s in total
haha
since i like paul twohill
i decided to be nice and take the photo for jaslyn and qiling

then after taking they were like asking me if i wanted to take with him
i can't say i didn't want to right?
so i agreed
and so i was the only one who got to take an individual photo with him



qiling: OK now let's all take an individual photo
(jaslyn nodding away at the corner)
jon l e o n g: er.. i don't think the staff would be happy about that

haha so in the end qiling and jaslyn hated me so much that the two of them scolded me on their blogs!

jaslyn blogged:
chew v sly lah. she said "i will help you two take the photo" so that later she had an individual photo with him!!! 'i soooo hate you!" hahahaha =P (doing it the chewy way)

qiling blogged:
THAT SCHEMING GIRL. She sacrificed our friendship in order to get an individual photo with jon leong. Atrocious. Unforgivable.

it wasn't really MY fault what! haha

qiling bought and wore the polka dot tube dress on the spot
so that she could seduce the malay waitress at work later
who's the more scheming girl!!!

prom is starting to feel like a wedding
there's so much to do!
later i have to meet xinyu to go for manicure and pedicure
then i would meet my mum to shop for accessories
(oh my mum is still insistent on me buying another gown)

tml morning i have to wake up early to dump my sleepover stuff at qiling's house
run to find xinyu for the camera
then run back to boon lay to meet beetsma to bring her to my house
and i have to get ready for the makeup and hair person who is coming at 12.30!
i am very certain something would go wrong along the way.
prom is such a chore.

all i did at my dad's office today was
1. sign the documents (i feel like the boss already ;) )
2. fax invoices, quotations
3. collect money and cheques
4. annoy my dad:)

there's really not much to do
i was THIS close to dying of boredom
thank goodness i brought along a book
and messaging qiling and guan were quite entertaining

anyway qiling told me this brillant idea!
we are going to have a joint BBQ birthday party:))
qiling promises it would be a grand affair.
right no promises yet cause we have yet to sit down and discuss

yanru's birthday is coming!
i think its really funny that she's turning 18 soon
then few days after her birthday i am going to turn 19!
i don't like the whole idea of being 19
i think i like 18 better.

christmas is coming
don't you just love christmas? :)
HO HO HO


i wont say i am sorry because i don't believe its my fault
its not anyone's fault
its just a case of miscommunication
don't you think?

ok so he's not a virgin
er why are you telling me that?
what's your point in saying that?
correction what's your point in repeating that?




my first day at work(at oosh)(this is really a step by step account of what happened for my benefit since i reckon i would forget all about it soon)

yanru and i went to shop for my black pants and shoes before work
less than one hour before we were supposed to report for work
we could not find the bus stop
that must have been a sign
it took like 40 minutes and many panic attacks before we boarded the 174 bus

we met hanyong at the bus stop and walked in together
we were 5 minutes late
but no one noticed the time actually
the laifan lady brought us down to the bar area to introduced us to the people working there
(that lady is so blur she wins me hands down)
i think i got a shock
cause they were all so old(i mean old as in young old but not old old)
AND funky
yanru and i already have this bad bad feeling
and we wanted to go home really badly

we waited at some corner while the rest of them were being briefed
after the briefing the supervisors and the director himself came over
they asked if we have experience and stuff
we said no
and then they brought us to collect our uniform
luckily its not some ugly polo tee
but i thought the the top was quite tight
especially the sleeve part (right yanru?)

dinner was provided
there were some meat, tofu and broccoli
hanyong said tofu is the worst food of all...taste like rubber..stinks
i thought tofu was tasteless?
SOU MUN I THOUGHT U SAID THE FOOD WAS NICE!
yanru and i didn't finish the food at all
i think one of the reason why we didn't finish the food was because everyone around us were smoking.
i could not even breathe much less eat
i saw this ring of smoke floating up and i was quite amazed (for awhile after that i was busy coughing)

training started after dinner
bernard(our supervisor) started teaching us about the menu, table arrangement..................
the director(mr goh) came over at one point
i think he's very bossy, arrogant, talks very slowly, thinks he the boss(oh wait he is the boss) and naggy
he talked for one hour without stopping
anyway there are like 3 concepts(i think) at oosh
the bar, the garden and the roof (or rooftop?)
yanru and i were assigned to the bar and hanyong (mr goh called him ah yong haha) was assigned to the roof(or rooftop whatever)

there are 4 other people assigned to the bar
1. bernard(supervisor)
2. siva
3. gobi
4. asri

i think gobi's name is really cool
the first thing i thought when he told me his name was Gobi desert

something really funny happened when mr goh was still briefing everyone
since we were already grouped into our work stations
and mr goh was just nagging away(i swear no one was listening to him)
we did introductions quietly
bernard introduced siva and gobi.
then when he turned to asri
he said "and this is ah meng"
I TELL YOU. i could not control myself
i just burst out laughing
they were all like shhhh
luckily mr goh was too busy nagging that he didn't notice it
i was still trying very hard not to laugh
i think asri really looks like ah meng!

it was really very slack at first
gobi was transferred to the garden to help out
asri and siva were nowwhere to be found
i just kept seeing bernard bernard and more bernard

when the sky turned dark
asri and siva finally turned up
since there was no one
asri started to talk to me
he had a problem with remembering my name
so guess what i did
i did the chewy chewy action
which yanru saw and thought it was quite funny
i think that really worked
he remembered my name after that
he couldn't remember yanru's name though
asri's really really nice
he keep coming over to teach me what to do
he would let me serve
and he taught me the different drinks and what they were made up of (could not understand a word he was saying though)

asri even told yanru and i that he broke up with his girlfriend because of work
i think that's quite sad

cindy came to visit us!
it was a really really pleasant surprise
i think cindy rocks:)

anyway a terrible thing happened
yanru was transferred to the garden!
leaving me alone!!
and more people started to gather at the bar
so i was confused, busy and very sad
asri came over and told me that the babies on the tv were very cute
haha
that was very random
but that cheered me up:)
i think asri's the nicest guy i have ever met:)

i kept seeing hanyong and yanru at the bar even though they were assigned somewhere else
i think they keep taking breaks!

another terrible thing happened
i was transferred to the kitchen
to be a runner
which means i was supposed to take this huge tray which is as long as me
with heavy plates on top
luckily they found out i didn't know the table numbers in the garden
so they send me back to the bar
i suspect they saw my traumatised face and decided to go easy on me

but then they send me off again this time to the garden itself
i was supposed to clear the plates
i think that was the toughest
cause you are supposed to balance the tray
bend down get the wine glasses, plates and clean the table
while the customers look on
i thought to myself the whole time "please don't let me drop anything"
but i did drop something along the way
i think i have never been so embarrassed in my life
haha

work ended around 1am
everyone just started gathering at the back
i finally saw the guy who looks like hanyong
he's justin
he has this very funny habit of cutting into our conversations
and the thing he says has completely no link to whatever we were talking

there's this other girl who is very nice and she was from NJC too.
i didn't ask for her name though
shall ask sou mun

in the end, we just sat there and talked while waiting for the buses to send us home

i was the last one in the bus (west) to be dropped off
i told the uncle to let me get down at the petrol station instead of winding all the way in
because i felt like taking a walk
have u ever taken a walk around your house at 3am?
the streets are surprisingly quiet and calm
and when i looked up i saw many many stars!
and the stars were so bright i felt like lying there and then on the road to just watch them shine

when i reached home
i was really tired
but i decided i was more hungry than i was tired
so i tried cooked some maggi mee
and even switched on the tv
i think i fell asleep at some point while watching animal planet
my maggi mee was mostly left untouched
i only woke up at 6am
feeling disgusted with myself since i didn't even washed up
so in the end after bathing and all
everyone started waking up while i plopped myself to sleep

what a day.
if this entry sounds weird
its because i am very exhausted now
i can't think straight
and i realise this is a very long entry.
ok i am done
:)


4J dinner yesterday was kind of brief
and we were missing a lot of people
i never want to go newton food centre to eat again
the hawkers just kept trying to make us buy their food
ordering food was like engaging in a battle

i am going for work later
i am very nervous
and excited!

yanru and i are very concerned about the uniform provided
we hope it's not some ugly polo tee

i think i am going to faint:)


i think my family hates me
everything i do is wrong wrong wrong
mum is screaming at me like i am the worst thing that happened to her
but seriously i didn't do anything!!!

i feel misunderstood
i think mum dad and brother have very screwed up and strong personalities
since i am the youngest and the only one who doesn't have this hate for everything in the world
they generally assume they can take it out on me
come on
deal with it and move on
its not my fault
and don't you ever think that it didn't affect me
it affected me
BUT i don't let it bother me
i just choose not to live miserably
and AND the whole family's growing suspicion towards anything that moves is getting annoying

i don't understand
i don't understand
I DON"T UNDERSTAND

i think its best i hide in my room and not say anything
that way there would be minimal chances of them trying to torment me

i am not upset
i am just very tired
and angsty
i have a right to be angsty


TAN CHIEW YEE got a job!
and it pays better than the science centre one!
and the person told me there is a $125 allowance per month
for GROOMING
and we are talking about a waitressing job
not some air stewardess job

guess who are my co-workers!
sou(already working there)
yanru(who is starting to think like me)
hanyong!

this is so exciting

mum is very suspicious of the allowance and the fact that i have to work till 3am
brother is still angry with me for lending his DVDs to liting and forgetting all about it till months later
brother just told me we are getting a hamster soon
and another chinchilla
my house is fast becoming a zoo
dad is irritating me on how nowadays children always depend on their parents for money and how it wasn't that way when he was a child ......
how he had to work and save to go on a holiday in EUROPE
get that-EUROPE!
i had to try very hard to not give him the i-think-you-are-ridiculous look
you need skills to survive in a family like mine
sometimes i think i understand them more than they understand themselves

i think its funny how two people can speak in their own form of broken english
and actually understand each other
and when i include myself in their conversation
i automatically switch to some unknown form of broken english as well

yanru and i have gone mad on a search for bimbo books
ok maybe i am the only one
she's only concerned about princess dairies and how michael is so cute and perfect
it has got to a point where you start to think if
1.the michael she's talking about is actually a real person
2. that princess dairies is a true story
3.and how one day michael would dump mia and run into the arms of yanru
which if you ask me is really unhealthy cause michael is just some fictional character
there's no such thing as michael in real life!

here's something funny i read from a book
husband: i just need some space
wife(completely misses the point): why do you need space? you are not an astronaut !
hahaha

i forgot to blog about the funny incident when i went out with yanru and mavis
i was flipping through some SONY booklet promoting their cameras
chiewyee: hey mav your camera how many megapixels?
mav(absentmindedly): 1000
yanru and chiewyee: what? 1000??
at first we laughed cause we thought mavis was just being funny
but after awhile, from her confused look
it was obvious that she didn't know why we were laughing
chiewyee: mav if your camera is 1000 megapixels you would be able to see the person's DNA already.
i reckon mavis is going to kill me cause i promised her i would not blog about it

did i mention i have a job?
i am going to be rich from all the tips (i think)
now i just have to go get those GAP pants that i have been eyeing since hmm yesterday?:)

please don't ask me
cause i am not telling.


i love my room

i love the way when i close the door
i feel safe and comfortable
i love lying on my bed and looking up at the high ceiling
i love the light spilling in from the top window
making the whole room glow without even switching on any lights
i love the fact that it is my own space
somewhere where i can go to when i need to be left alone to just think
i love the way how my room remains the same even after so many years
when i am in my room i get the illusion that everything else remains the same as well
i love it because that's the only place where i can really show my emotions and no one would ask me what's wrong
because i don't feel like talking about it
i don't like people fussing over me
for the first time in my life
i would like to solve this on my own

and for the first time in my life
i spent a record time shutting myself in my room with nothing but the radio on
my handphone keeps beeping at one corner
but i just didn't feel like replying
all i did was just listen to the music and rest

if i sounded sad that's because i was
but if you ask me if i am still sad
i would say i am not

but after thinking so much and spending so much time with myself
all the sadness just drifted away

yesterday's star a w a rds was hilarious
:)

to you
you should'nt have known
i think i felt so sad initially because i thought that was it
i thought i would never talk to you again
and that upsets me because like i said i got used to having you in my life



i should have seen this coming
actually i did
but part of me just wanted to believe that it's not true
looking back
i realise there were many signs

at that moment
i was just so shocked
besides the shock
i was otherwise quite calm
surprisingly calm
but the tears started falling somehow

i think i am still refusing to accept it

but it will never work out
so why am i doing this to myself
why do i want to continue when i know i am going to get hurt

i think a part of me just died
and i feel terrible

i need to be stronger than this



You know how sometimes you know a person because he/she is your friend's friend?
and then one fine day you might just gather all the first degree and second degree friends for a mini gathering.
that's what happened on tues
Weilun, zhimin, xinyu and I decided to go for prom shopping together

let me explain to you our links
weilun and xinyu-primary school friends
(ok this is random but weilun also happen to be amy's boyfriend's (Vincent) primary school classmate!)
zhimin and xinyu- student councilors back in secondary school
Weilun and chiewyee- sec 3 sec 4 classmates
xinyu and chiewyee- sec 1 sec 2 classmates
zhimin and chiewyee- er..oh I went NDP with him once!

so we met up to help xinyu find her prom dress
have you ever shopped with xinyu before?
haha I shall not elaborate further in case she kills me
I think we were all almost on the brink of breaking down when we were still helping her find a dress at 9 pm!
after alot of assurances(Weilun and I let zhimin do most of the talking)
she FINALLY bought her dress
weilun zhimin and i were celebrating at one corner when xinyu went to pay:)

then we walked to ps to meet brandon
brandon dyed his hair but I didn't see any difference at all

thurs
that Teo Qiling has not put any thought into her prom dress at all
i wonder why i am more worried for her than she is worried for herself!!
guanyou qiling and i went to have lunch at this Hong Kong restaurant
the dim sum was nice but i hated the curry chicken noodle
they used maggi mee!
qiling and her mango ice.

oh yea qiling is beginnning to have this obsession with polka dots

chiewyee: qiling you like polka dots har?
qiling: NO i like BIG dots!
chiewyee:rigghhhhttt

WE SAW JONATHAN LEONG!!!
right after guan left us to meet another girl.
see guan i told you. stick with us and good things will happen haha

jaslyn is a lucky girl.
she msged me at the right moment

i very lazy to tell the whole story so i just copied from jas's blog:)

ok this was what happened, i was on my way to orchard, then i smsed chewy for fun and she called me and she was like "OMGOMGOMG JONATHAN LEONG IS AT CINELEISURE!!!!!!!!!!!!! COME NOW!!!!!" and i rannnn there to meet her and qiling (although i was supposed to meet denise at heeren) and OMG JONATHAN LEONG WAS IN THIS SHOP AND OMG WE WERE LIKE OMG!!!THEnnnn we wanted to take photos with him, but OMG none of us dared to ask. so we kept walking forward (v close to him!) then we will change our mind and walk away again. a few time ok!! he saw us then HE OSO V PAISEH CAN! so we hid behind the pillar and tried to strategise.
qiling: maybe he doesnt want to take photos with us loh
jas: who says!! you never see him keep thanking his fans meh? LOL
chew: very embarrassing leh! he already saw us! what are we doing here!
qiling: (faces a computer screen) maybe i can ask him to teach me how to use this!
jas: fat hope lah! OMGOMG HE IS LEAVING ALREADY QUICK GOOOO!!!
qiling: i ask i ask

10 OMG s in total
haha
since i like paul twohill
i decided to be nice and take the photo for jaslyn and qiling

then after taking they were like asking me if i wanted to take with him
i can't say i didn't want to right?
so i agreed
and so i was the only one who got to take an individual photo with him



qiling: OK now let's all take an individual photo
(jaslyn nodding away at the corner)
jon l e o n g: er.. i don't think the staff would be happy about that

haha so in the end qiling and jaslyn hated me so much that the two of them scolded me on their blogs!

jaslyn blogged:
chew v sly lah. she said "i will help you two take the photo" so that later she had an individual photo with him!!! 'i soooo hate you!" hahahaha =P (doing it the chewy way)

qiling blogged:
THAT SCHEMING GIRL. She sacrificed our friendship in order to get an individual photo with jon leong. Atrocious. Unforgivable.

it wasn't really MY fault what! haha

qiling bought and wore the polka dot tube dress on the spot
so that she could seduce the malay waitress at work later
who's the more scheming girl!!!

prom is starting to feel like a wedding
there's so much to do!
later i have to meet xinyu to go for manicure and pedicure
then i would meet my mum to shop for accessories
(oh my mum is still insistent on me buying another gown)

tml morning i have to wake up early to dump my sleepover stuff at qiling's house
run to find xinyu for the camera
then run back to boon lay to meet beetsma to bring her to my house
and i have to get ready for the makeup and hair person who is coming at 12.30!
i am very certain something would go wrong along the way.
prom is such a chore.

chiewyee!
basically what we have here is a dreamer. someone out of touch with reality. when she jumped, she probably thought she'd fly.
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